Macon County > The Difference A Mentor Makes

The Difference A Mentor Makes

You set an example of a healthy, real person who copes reasonably well with life.
You help your mentee develop interests, hobbies, new skills, and recreational interests. You set examples of healthy ways to spend their time.
You build their self-esteem:
You praise them for how they look, act and think
You let them know they are likeable, that they are capable and can do a lot of things
They learn that they can solve problems that come up
They begin to know that they are fun to be with and that they are a good person
You give the child something to look forward to each week:
Your next call
The next time they can call you
Your next outing together
Plans for future outings
You truly listen to their feelings, and you care. “I bet you were scared; I would’ve been.”
You let them know that they are not alone in their personal and family problems. You, your friends and your family have had and do have problems, too. Problems are a part of life and learning.
You can teach them other healthy ways to cope with their anger, stress, and frustrations. Ways to cope such as:
Physical exercise
Relaxation techniques
Counting to 10 before reacting
Writing in a journal
Talking to a friend
You let them know that they are needed. You can teach them how to be a friend and that they are an essential part of this special friendship you share.

An Introduction to Mentoring

The Mentoring Program is modeled after other successful programs in other parts of the United States. The Mentoring Program pairs volunteers from our local community with selected youths on a one-on-one basis. Mentors and their youth will spend a flexible amount of time each month talking, listening, working on projects, having lunch, etc. Mentors provide moral support, friendship, and a genuine sense of caring about the youths with which they are paired. The mentor’s personal investment in the lives of children allows each child to look beyond the present to envision a future full of promise.

The Benefits of The Mentoring Program

Youths benefit by…

Receiving the support and guidance of a caring adult.
Receiving assistance with academic endeavors.
Experiencing greater self-esteem and motivation to succeed.
Receiving encouragement to avoid the use of drugs and alcohol.
Receiving encouragement to stay in school and graduate.
Improving interpersonal relationship, such as with teachers and family.
Receiving assistance in choosing a career path.

Mentors benefit by…

Increasing their involvement in the community.
Recognizing that they can make a difference.
Making a new friend.
Gaining new experience and knowledge about youth.
Contributing to the quality of the future workforce.

Schools benefit by…

Improved student performance
Improved student attendance.
Increased student retention.

Community benefit by…

The greater involvement adults and youth share.
Communication gap between generations start closing.
The area work force will be keep strong as educated students graduate.

Mentors are caring supportive adults who offer youth ongoing guidance for their academic and personal growth. They genuinely like and respect children and are willing to make a sustained personal commitment to the mentoring program and to their youth.

Mentors can…

Serve as a positive role model.
Act as a friend and provide encouragement and support.
Help youth improve self-esteem.
Help youth improve academically and understand the relevance of their schoolwork to their daily lives.
Provide opportunities for personal growth for the youth by helping the youth expand his or her personal horizons, increase his or her self-awareness, and realize his or her full potential.
Explore opportunities for the future that is compatible with the youth’s own special talents and interests.
Help the youth learn how to function more successfully in the business world and mainstream society.

Reminders and Guidelines for Mentors

Be consistent and dependable. Your mentee must learn to trust you. Specifically, that means: don’t oversleep, break dates, or make promises you can’t keep.
Always call the child before you pick him/her up. Be sure you have the parent’s approval of the day and time before you hang up. Try to give the child some idea of what you will be doing so he/she can dress appropriately. Always return at the agreed time. When you can’t, give the parent a call.
If your schedule does not permit an in-person visit during the week, make a special effort to keep in contact by telephone.
Don’t try to be: Santa Claus to the child or parent, a taxi service, a probation officer, a “child saver”, or a “parent rehabilitator”.
While it is customary for the volunteer to pay for activities, you are not expected to spend a lot of money. You and the child can plan many free or low cost things to do.
If you need to discuss the child’s problems with the parent, please do so when the child is not present.
If you disagree with the family’s rules, life style, or religious beliefs, please do not criticize. Your comments may cause harsh feelings that will restrict your relationship.
While it may be necessary for you to correct misbehavior or set limits within the context of your relationship, it is never appropriate to use physical punishment.
Feel free to say no to any inappropriate requests, e.g., parents ask to borrow money.
For obvious reasons, your conduct in the presence of a child may enhance or detract from your effectiveness as a volunteer. For example, the use of alcohol, profanity, or careless driving habits in the child’s presence may be viewed as reflecting extremely poor judgment.
If business or vacation travel plans will require you to be out of town for an extended period of time, please inform the child about the situation. The child needs to know that your absence does not mean rejection or lack of interest by you.
The program coordinator will contact you periodically for feedback about your match, but you should feel free to call when you have concerns or information to share (573-633-2331).
A poorly handled ending to a match can damage the entire experience. You are expected to give as mush consideration to the ending of the mentoring relationship as you did to the beginning.

Helpful Hints for Mentors

Get to know the child gradually and naturally. This will allow the opportunity for confidence to develop.
Be consistent. It is the key to getting your relationship off to a good start.
It is generally advisable for you and the child to be comfortable together before including others in your activities. The primary emphasis is your one-on-one relationship with the child.
Respect the child as an individual. Allow the child to express thoughts and feelings.
Do not push the child into discussing personal problems. These feeling will unfold naturally, as the child feels more relaxed with you.
Give advice sparingly. It is more beneficial to the child to learn to evaluate alternatives and make decisions. This can be achieved by discussion rather than advice.
Do not hesitate to set limits. The child will feel more comfortable knowing about restrictions than having to constantly test you.
If you make a promise, keep it. This will encourage a sense of trust and security in you, other people and finally in the child.
Your mentee may have some difficulty initiating contact with you, especially in the beginning stages of your friendship. This may be due to a fear of rejection or simply because many children expect the adult to take the lead. Do not interpret this as a lack of interest. Willingly take the responsibility for initiating contact until mentee is able to take this step.